It’s disgusting outside on this bright Sunday morning.  I am inside with the A/C for the time being watching a movie.  It’s the movie about Pocahontas called, “The New World.”  You know, the one with Christian Bale and Colin Farrell that I think all of 10 people saw in theaters.  Either way, it’s a fantastic movie and the lead, Q’Orianka Kilcher, is an actress I hope finds immense success through her career.

The story of Pocahontas always fascinated me because she was young when she first met John Smith.  Somewhere around 13-15 years old, but she was a princess who fell deeply in love with an older man.  We all know how that goes.  Through trials and tribulations, John Smith ends things with her and has others tell Pochantas that he’s died while he flees back to England.  She is heartbroken and eventually meets John Rolfe who is a better man to her and wants a life with her yet she is reluctant in moving on with her life because of her feelings for John Smith.  It doesn’t sound like much has changed in relationships in our modern day, does it?  Change the location, ages, excuses and bam – same ol’ same ol’.

I’ve had debates that people feel she ended up settling for Rolfe because Smith wouldn’t have her and the other side of the coin is she felt obligated to stay with Rolf because she had children with him and a good life.  They were able to travel in that time period as well as be able to bathe more than once or twice a week.  She was living the high life.

What does that mean for us?  Should we settle?  Is happiness actually attainable?

I think there will always be situations where life has dealt us a bad hand and we must find the best way to cope with it.  I have had my fair share of terrible dates and relationships where I felt there was no light at the end of the tunnel and figured I should just marry a John Rolfe in my life because I had to – or waste time hoping that the John Smith in my life would let go of his issues long enough or I foolishly though I could change him.  The important thing that age has taught me is there are more than two kinds of partners you are allowed to have.  I know sometimes we end up dating the same personality then don’t realize it until it’s too late.  I encourage you to be more objective.  There is power in creating lists to see if what you value lines up with your potential mates.  Just remember to not hold every person to the letter of your list or laws.  No one is perfect, not even you.  Sometimes those annoying qualities end up being endearing when the person is gone.

Take a moment to walk through the willows, clense your spirit, let go of the bitterness, anger, and desperation.  You will find what you are looking for.

Stay safe & cool!