Hell of a Weekend

What a weekend.

With all the emotions being thrown around, words being expressed and biases formed, broken and reborn, I think we need to keep something in perspective.  Love.  I’m not talking about candy, hearts and flowers – I’m talking about love where out of suffering we move on together, out of respect, we move forward and tolerance, we can find a way to live together to find peace.

This kind of love finds forgiveness in a dark place called humanity.  The spectrum of light, colors and emotions –  we feel everything, even if we don’t want to.  The pain I felt last night and still do, and I probably will carry some for the rest of my life because I know plenty of people who fit the description, profile, complexion of being in the “wrong” part of town at the “wrong” time.  Whatever the fuck that even means. 

Growing up religion has taught me to turn the other cheek, that these insults, and trauma are caused by individuals who are hurting from their own demons but sometimes you have to wonder if it’s really the devil or their own ego?  Now that I’m an adult and have a growing and continuing understanding that there is more to life than what fills the pages of any one book.  There is a lot of truth and power to maintaining the spirit, both human and otherwise, moving forward, forgiveness, and hope and pray that something finally sparks and people will let go of the anger and hurt in their own hearts.  Life is more than the color of skin, the neighborhood in which we live and the building we walk into once a week to absolve ourselves of our transgressions.

My spirit is low and my heart breaks for what is going to come from this situation.  I remain optimistic that good will rise to the top and there is a greater hope for the future.  Anything is truly possible.

I ask you to just remember the small things; the pleases and thank-yous, holding doors, remembering to smile – all the small things we take for granted or can’t be bothered to perform.  Don’t let this just pass us by and have it turn into passing meaningless chatter.

Let us be more.

Let this mean more.

Nail Treats

I’ve been feeling stressed out lately, mainly due to a few life issues going on for me.  Changed my polish today which always puts me into a better mood.  It’s probably more of a Fall shade but I don’t care.  I don’t see a reason in adhering to trends and seasons – if you like it and it will make you feel better, do it.

“Gorgeous” by Sinful Colors as the base layered with, “All About You” by Sunful Colors on top.  I finished with a clear coat on top for extra shine.


Just Around the Riverbend

It’s disgusting outside on this bright Sunday morning.  I am inside with the A/C for the time being watching a movie.  It’s the movie about Pocahontas called, “The New World.”  You know, the one with Christian Bale and Colin Farrell that I think all of 10 people saw in theaters.  Either way, it’s a fantastic movie and the lead, Q’Orianka Kilcher, is an actress I hope finds immense success through her career.

The story of Pocahontas always fascinated me because she was young when she first met John Smith.  Somewhere around 13-15 years old, but she was a princess who fell deeply in love with an older man.  We all know how that goes.  Through trials and tribulations, John Smith ends things with her and has others tell Pochantas that he’s died while he flees back to England.  She is heartbroken and eventually meets John Rolfe who is a better man to her and wants a life with her yet she is reluctant in moving on with her life because of her feelings for John Smith.  It doesn’t sound like much has changed in relationships in our modern day, does it?  Change the location, ages, excuses and bam – same ol’ same ol’.

I’ve had debates that people feel she ended up settling for Rolfe because Smith wouldn’t have her and the other side of the coin is she felt obligated to stay with Rolf because she had children with him and a good life.  They were able to travel in that time period as well as be able to bathe more than once or twice a week.  She was living the high life.

What does that mean for us?  Should we settle?  Is happiness actually attainable?

I think there will always be situations where life has dealt us a bad hand and we must find the best way to cope with it.  I have had my fair share of terrible dates and relationships where I felt there was no light at the end of the tunnel and figured I should just marry a John Rolfe in my life because I had to – or waste time hoping that the John Smith in my life would let go of his issues long enough or I foolishly though I could change him.  The important thing that age has taught me is there are more than two kinds of partners you are allowed to have.  I know sometimes we end up dating the same personality then don’t realize it until it’s too late.  I encourage you to be more objective.  There is power in creating lists to see if what you value lines up with your potential mates.  Just remember to not hold every person to the letter of your list or laws.  No one is perfect, not even you.  Sometimes those annoying qualities end up being endearing when the person is gone.

Take a moment to walk through the willows, clense your spirit, let go of the bitterness, anger, and desperation.  You will find what you are looking for.

Stay safe & cool!

LA Hair?

Gah, I hate to say I love a reality TV show because a lot of them are terrible!  This show showcases talented stylists for hair and nails and apparently makeup too.  I started watching it on a whim because I devoted my day today to mind numbing relaxation.  If you  haven’t watched, definitely check out a marathon at some point.


Anyone else watch this show? 

Happy 4th to You & Yours!

It’s Independence day here in the US and most people are doing the bbq thing, worrying about how much food they should or shouldn’t cook.  I want to take a moment to remind us to remember what this day is really in celebration of and how much further we need to go in American and as Americans.  Equality is still being fought for, as is maintaining our freedom by those overseas and stationed here within the US borders.  It’s not a day to worry about how many Pinterest ideas you have for an American flag dessert or table scape; remember those who we have lost, are losing to PTSD and those who are braving the choice by enlisting.

For those sitting around enjoying a day off, reach out to those who may not have family in the area.  Fellowship with your neighbors, or make a new friend today.

Happy 4th of July everyone!   Stay safe, thankful and free.