Sunflowers

What really is the best way to deal with disappointment?  Over eating?  Over drinking? Obsessing on Facebook?  I’m not really sure the answer to this myself because depending on the situation and how grave the said disappointment, you may want to do all that I’ve already mentioned – if not more, right?

My recent excursion down the trail of disappointment of course deals with my love life.  I called a good friend of mine earlier to vent a bit about the past month and to talk shop about moving forward and realistic expectations for the coming month.  I may be down for a bit but I refuse to stay down.  Giving others power over you is dangerous and worthless.  This past month I have dealt with a lot of issues from past relationships and potential new ones that I have been trying to change within myself as well.  I made a deal with myself a year ago to change my behavior and some of my ways and try to date new and different kinds of people because what I was doing before wasn’t working.   I ended up alone more often than I cared to be.  I decided to open myself up to new kinds of men; men who before I would never consider dating because I would consider them too heavy a risk.  Yes, I look at dating in the form of accounting – whether he is an asset or a liability.  It’s just who I am.  In the beginning of the relationship things went okay.  I let go of some things and proceeded with caution.  You only live once, may as well take a risk and find out.

Time went by and I ended up in a new relationship.  Things were okay for a while until reality set in and my previous checks & balances that would have told me to not bother with this guy were coming up like red flags in a bad soccer match.   My gut/intuition/whatever you want to call it kept telling me to end things and move on, no matter how hard it may be.  How can you go one minute wondering if this is the kind of compromise they talk about when moving forward to getting married?  I also contemplated that was it my own fears holding me back from moving forward too?  Sadly, those red flags were turning quite serious and I knew it was time to go.

Fast forward to dating others more recently, still trying to be optimistic, hoping that if I try something different, maybe that will lead me to someone I am able to feel safe with.  Nothing has stuck yet and the old temptations to previous encounters swing in and out as if being offered a warm bowl of ice cream.  It’s tempting but easy to resist.  I wouldn’t say I was lowering my standards.  It was more not being as picky as I can be.  My philosophy is to wait for that right one, not waste years of my life tied to the wrong one.  What I realized after chatting with my friend earlier is that I am okay being single.  My life is filled with a lot of great people and adventures that maybe, right now this is all I need.

It’s important not to be envious of others.  What some have, they may have had to sacrifice everything for a moment of fleeting happiness.  I do believe that a strong marriage is more important than just being someone’s wife.  I also believe  that a good marriage can exist, even in our modern time.  I just know that it’s not my time yet.  If or when that time comes I will be ready, but I am content to wait.  I know me of 5 years ago would have thought the me now is crazy for even thinking that but wisdom comes with age.  There are more important things in life than the selfishness of others in bad relationships, or pride for that matter.

As far as I know, for me, if I don’t feel that he is the right fit, I will politely say,  “no thank you,” and patiently wait my turn.  I deserve that.

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BoOoOo!

It’s a cool morning here and all of social media is buzzing about pumpkins, desserts, Halloween and boots for Fall and the upcoming Winter season.  My personal favorite is sweet potato cake and pumpkin muffins.  I also love Halloween too.  I love the dressing up, socializing with friends and all the free candy, or at least the candy that is dirt cheap the day after Halloween.  I know around this time a lot of stores are running ads for costumes and those Halloween Adventures are starting to pop up around towns across the US.  For the most part, this is a great resource for all the fake blood and guts you need to make your Halloween the most memorable.  The downside?  Their selection for anyone over a true size 14.

The last time I bought one of those prepackaged costumes, it was over priced (surprise) and fit okay but not great.  I would have liked it in a size larger but what are you going to do?  I have spent a lot of time searching out stores that have some extended sizes but they end up being incredibly expensive.  Why would I spend $50-$70 for something I’m wearing for only a few hours that will invariably end up with some food or drink stain on it?  Chances are I won’t wear it again another year either.  If you are into spending that kind of money, Torrid would happily take your cash.  They have various Halloween styles that are $50+ and are sizes 12-28.

What about those who can’t afford to spend that or simply don’t want to?  Make your own costume.  You would be surprised at how easy this is and how inexpensive.  Unless you want to get into something more intricate with sewing great detail and so on, you can find most pieces you will need at a local thrift shop.  They always have various items that can be pieced together to create a unique costume that actually will fit and won’t break the bank.

General suggestions:

  • Pirate/Gypsy/Witch:  Look for ruffled blouses, corsets, long flowy skirts, scarves to wrap around your head and old costume jewlery to accent your outfit.  If the outfit doesn’t look distressed enough, you can use an exacto knife or razor to shread some of the fabric in small areas then run it through the wash.  It will come out looking a bit worn and faded.
  • Disney like characters:  I’ve seen more adults wanting to dress like Cinderella or Belle lately than little girls and that’s great.  It is easy to find similar style gowns and the accessories on the cheap.
  • Various Animals:  These are easy enough depending on what kind you want.   A little makeup, headband with ears or horns and you are good to go.
  • Medical Staff:  Most thrift stores don’t carry old scrubs but Walmart actually sells scrubs.  If you are a great seamstress or know someone who can sew, get an outfit, cut it up to how you want and boom – costume.
  • Cop:  Same goes for being a Cop or a Sexy Cop of some kind.  Finding the various parts of the outfit is easy enough and fake handcuffs aren’t expensive either.
  • Various Book or Literature Characters:  It is very easy to find things to put together so you can look just like your favorite character.  Especially since a lot of book characters channel the fashion of years ago so finding the old plaid or worn clothes is an easy find.

For all the other special additives such as fishnets and tights, I have found that Burlington Coat Factory does sell it in plus sizes.  I know Walmart does sell it in plus sizes as well but I haven’t tried them personally.  I may this Halloween season though.  I invite you to be creative this year and find something that you like and want to be.  Don’t feel limited or intimidated by what is on the rack because it isn’t your only option.

Good luck, stay safe and enjoy the sweets!

Basics & Boots

What are you stocking up on this Fall ?

Instead of flooding your feed with Do’s & Don’t’s that may or may not work for the next 6 months, I invite you not hold on so tightly to trends.  If you want to try it, do it.

  • I wear white all year round.
  • I wear bright colors all year round because I love it.
  • I hate brown clothes.
  • Button up shirts are my enemy.
  • I hate how hard it is to find a well fitted turtleneck sweater.

Stores that I often shop in:

  • Burlington Coat Factory:  I put them first because you really can find many complete outfits at great prices here.  I love this store and have to have such restraint on going.  Whether you are plus sized or straight size, they have great stuff that is on trend and affordable.
  • Target:  Target is very hit or miss.  Lately it has been a miss but for you plus sized ladies out there, hit their maternity section on a sale.  You can get nice stuff that is usually a longer length and tends to fit better.  Their maxi dresses are my favorite because they are long enough.
  • Walmart:  Believe it or not, some of their plus stuff fits well and is priced well.
  • Forever21:  This store is great for more unique items to spice your every day up, plus their jewelry is insanely cheap.
  • Nordstrom:  They actually have a great plus size section that is made with better material and a better quality than other stores.  If you are going to pay a lot for something, you may as well get the best quality you can.

Stores that I am beginning to love:

  • H&M: If the price is right, I will start buying more from them.
  • ASOS:  They have such cute stuff!  I was recently turned on to them too.  This is why it’s so important to share what you know.  There are so many hidden gems out there.

Stores that I can’t stand anymore:

  • Lane Bryant:  Their clothes are way over priced, the material is cheap and the fit is horrible on a plus sized figure.  Their models are usually a size 10-12 at the most and they pin the clothes back on the girls so it looks fitted.  Don’t waste your time and money.
  • Ashley Stewart:  Same goes for them.  I don’t understand why they are raising their prices.  Have you seen or felt their material? Yuck!

Break out of the norm, hit up a thrift store – be unique and be happy.

Transition Pieces

The weather is finally cooling down and the days will start getting shorter.  This cuts down on a lot of activities that can be done outside but how do you inject fun in your routine through the cooler months?

This Fall and upcoming holiday season I have challenged myself to tackle a new kind of craft.  I usually lose my shit for the Christmas holiday because I’m that person.  I am a few years away from the ugly sweater that has dough and icing stains on it while I force my family to take awkward pictures to capture the moment(s).  As a child, I would dedicate hours to Martha Stewart’s shows learning new tips and tricks (back when her show was better and it was just her for the hour and her crafts).  I intend on making wreaths.  One day I will showcase how I decorated my son’s nursery.  I made flowers and vines for the jungle theme I choose.  It looked awesome but the amount of insects that I attracted, I will never do something like that again for a kid’s room.  I didn’t realize they would want to invade a room with fake flowers but I lived and learned.

The  few wreaths I’ve come across on Pinterest look awesome but they’re so overpriced.  Stay tuned for my adventures in crafting!  I plan on making something for Fall, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.  What are you getting into?  Taking any risks? Learning anything new?  Let me know!

 

 

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The Newness of it All

The air is always too thick around here during the rush of activity during back to school week.  It’s too humid, too warm still and so many leftover memories from Summer makes you wish we had another few weeks to lie on the beach.  All good things should be cherished, remembered and eventually have to come to an end.  Today marks the first day of school for some.  That first day is always filled with anxiety especially if they are taking the bus for the first time.  New friends, new teachers, and new challenges that will shape them through the year and teach them growth.

With the ease that popular culture has in reaching our youth today (and some adults), I think it is important to remember that during our time of growth, we remember to keep our feet firmly on the ground and remember what is important.

Put God first and pray each day.

I don’t believe in shoving God or religion down anyone’s throat because it defeats the entire purpose.  Just know that in times of trouble and especially since this is a new start for so many of you, prayer can move mountains and calm seas (literally and figuratively actually).  If you struggle with accepting that, I completely understand.  There are so many things in life that make us question everything.  What is real?  Why is my life the way it is?   Why can’t I find that answer on Google?  Start slow, study often and let the word come to you.  Take that with you this year and as you grow older.  Empower yourself through faith not fear.

I encourage you to do well in all aspects and remember that roadblocks are keys to finding success.  I’m sure this year will fly by and what will you have to show for it?

 

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