What really is the best way to deal with disappointment? Over eating? Over drinking? Obsessing on Facebook? I’m not really sure the answer to this myself because depending on the situation and how grave the said disappointment, you may want to do all that I’ve already mentioned – if not more, right?
My recent excursion down the trail of disappointment of course deals with my love life. I called a good friend of mine earlier to vent a bit about the past month and to talk shop about moving forward and realistic expectations for the coming month. I may be down for a bit but I refuse to stay down. Giving others power over you is dangerous and worthless. This past month I have dealt with a lot of issues from past relationships and potential new ones that I have been trying to change within myself as well. I made a deal with myself a year ago to change my behavior and some of my ways and try to date new and different kinds of people because what I was doing before wasn’t working. I ended up alone more often than I cared to be. I decided to open myself up to new kinds of men; men who before I would never consider dating because I would consider them too heavy a risk. Yes, I look at dating in the form of accounting – whether he is an asset or a liability. It’s just who I am. In the beginning of the relationship things went okay. I let go of some things and proceeded with caution. You only live once, may as well take a risk and find out.
Time went by and I ended up in a new relationship. Things were okay for a while until reality set in and my previous checks & balances that would have told me to not bother with this guy were coming up like red flags in a bad soccer match. My gut/intuition/whatever you want to call it kept telling me to end things and move on, no matter how hard it may be. How can you go one minute wondering if this is the kind of compromise they talk about when moving forward to getting married? I also contemplated that was it my own fears holding me back from moving forward too? Sadly, those red flags were turning quite serious and I knew it was time to go.
Fast forward to dating others more recently, still trying to be optimistic, hoping that if I try something different, maybe that will lead me to someone I am able to feel safe with. Nothing has stuck yet and the old temptations to previous encounters swing in and out as if being offered a warm bowl of ice cream. It’s tempting but easy to resist. I wouldn’t say I was lowering my standards. It was more not being as picky as I can be. My philosophy is to wait for that right one, not waste years of my life tied to the wrong one. What I realized after chatting with my friend earlier is that I am okay being single. My life is filled with a lot of great people and adventures that maybe, right now this is all I need.
It’s important not to be envious of others. What some have, they may have had to sacrifice everything for a moment of fleeting happiness. I do believe that a strong marriage is more important than just being someone’s wife. I also believe that a good marriage can exist, even in our modern time. I just know that it’s not my time yet. If or when that time comes I will be ready, but I am content to wait. I know me of 5 years ago would have thought the me now is crazy for even thinking that but wisdom comes with age. There are more important things in life than the selfishness of others in bad relationships, or pride for that matter.
As far as I know, for me, if I don’t feel that he is the right fit, I will politely say, “no thank you,” and patiently wait my turn. I deserve that.
It’s a cool morning here and all of social media is buzzing about pumpkins, desserts, Halloween and boots for Fall and the upcoming Winter season. My personal favorite is sweet potato cake and pumpkin muffins. I also love Halloween too. I love the dressing up, socializing with friends and all the free candy, or at least the candy that is dirt cheap the day after Halloween. I know around this time a lot of stores are running ads for costumes and those Halloween Adventures are starting to pop up around towns across the US. For the most part, this is a great resource for all the fake blood and guts you need to make your Halloween the most memorable. The downside? Their selection for anyone over a true size 14.
The last time I bought one of those prepackaged costumes, it was over priced (surprise) and fit okay but not great. I would have liked it in a size larger but what are you going to do? I have spent a lot of time searching out stores that have some extended sizes but they end up being incredibly expensive. Why would I spend $50-$70 for something I’m wearing for only a few hours that will invariably end up with some food or drink stain on it? Chances are I won’t wear it again another year either. If you are into spending that kind of money, Torrid would happily take your cash. They have various Halloween styles that are $50+ and are sizes 12-28.
What about those who can’t afford to spend that or simply don’t want to? Make your own costume. You would be surprised at how easy this is and how inexpensive. Unless you want to get into something more intricate with sewing great detail and so on, you can find most pieces you will need at a local thrift shop. They always have various items that can be pieced together to create a unique costume that actually will fit and won’t break the bank.
- Pirate/Gypsy/Witch: Look for ruffled blouses, corsets, long flowy skirts, scarves to wrap around your head and old costume jewlery to accent your outfit. If the outfit doesn’t look distressed enough, you can use an exacto knife or razor to shread some of the fabric in small areas then run it through the wash. It will come out looking a bit worn and faded.
- Disney like characters: I’ve seen more adults wanting to dress like Cinderella or Belle lately than little girls and that’s great. It is easy to find similar style gowns and the accessories on the cheap.
- Various Animals: These are easy enough depending on what kind you want. A little makeup, headband with ears or horns and you are good to go.
- Medical Staff: Most thrift stores don’t carry old scrubs but Walmart actually sells scrubs. If you are a great seamstress or know someone who can sew, get an outfit, cut it up to how you want and boom – costume.
- Cop: Same goes for being a Cop or a Sexy Cop of some kind. Finding the various parts of the outfit is easy enough and fake handcuffs aren’t expensive either.
- Various Book or Literature Characters: It is very easy to find things to put together so you can look just like your favorite character. Especially since a lot of book characters channel the fashion of years ago so finding the old plaid or worn clothes is an easy find.
For all the other special additives such as fishnets and tights, I have found that Burlington Coat Factory does sell it in plus sizes. I know Walmart does sell it in plus sizes as well but I haven’t tried them personally. I may this Halloween season though. I invite you to be creative this year and find something that you like and want to be. Don’t feel limited or intimidated by what is on the rack because it isn’t your only option.
Good luck, stay safe and enjoy the sweets!
What are you stocking up on this Fall ?
Instead of flooding your feed with Do’s & Don’t’s that may or may not work for the next 6 months, I invite you not hold on so tightly to trends. If you want to try it, do it.
- I wear white all year round.
- I wear bright colors all year round because I love it.
- I hate brown clothes.
- Button up shirts are my enemy.
- I hate how hard it is to find a well fitted turtleneck sweater.
Stores that I often shop in:
- Burlington Coat Factory: I put them first because you really can find many complete outfits at great prices here. I love this store and have to have such restraint on going. Whether you are plus sized or straight size, they have great stuff that is on trend and affordable.
- Target: Target is very hit or miss. Lately it has been a miss but for you plus sized ladies out there, hit their maternity section on a sale. You can get nice stuff that is usually a longer length and tends to fit better. Their maxi dresses are my favorite because they are long enough.
- Walmart: Believe it or not, some of their plus stuff fits well and is priced well.
- Forever21: This store is great for more unique items to spice your every day up, plus their jewelry is insanely cheap.
- Nordstrom: They actually have a great plus size section that is made with better material and a better quality than other stores. If you are going to pay a lot for something, you may as well get the best quality you can.
Stores that I am beginning to love:
- H&M: If the price is right, I will start buying more from them.
- ASOS: They have such cute stuff! I was recently turned on to them too. This is why it’s so important to share what you know. There are so many hidden gems out there.
Stores that I can’t stand anymore:
- Lane Bryant: Their clothes are way over priced, the material is cheap and the fit is horrible on a plus sized figure. Their models are usually a size 10-12 at the most and they pin the clothes back on the girls so it looks fitted. Don’t waste your time and money.
- Ashley Stewart: Same goes for them. I don’t understand why they are raising their prices. Have you seen or felt their material? Yuck!
Break out of the norm, hit up a thrift store – be unique and be happy.