I think it is safe to say that at one point or another we have said this phrase – whether it’s he isn’t, or she isn’t.  From when we are young we have this fantasy of adult hood and who is supposed to play each part to perfection.  As we grow up and grow older we are on what feels like a wild ride trying to cast the very perfect person for their roles.  We receive packages that seem to be together then sigh with great disappointment that the person just isn’t our type.  I understand that there has to be an attraction at some point when it comes to parring off but let’s be a bit more realistic – is that other person too much car for you?  Are you too much car for them?

Relationship abuse is a very real thing that a lot of our fellow men and women succumb to just for the sake of saying they are no longer single.  They put up with and suffer through endless nonsense just to say they are someone’s husband or wife.  I know you’re thinking, “Oh, that would never be me!” But we have all been there.  It’s just engrained in our culture through movies, dolls, gender roles and so on.  The important part is realizing this and being able to move forward.  How does this translate to the dating world and beyond?  Are you the type that creates a list of the perfect mate?  They have to meet at least 90% of your list before you even say hello.  I have met this type of people the most.  Both men and women do this in record numbers.  They want their partner to stand out from the crowd, have great hair, great smile, impressive vocabulary, and can twirl around the dance floor.  What about after all that?  When it’s just the two of you alone on a rainy day stuck inside together?  Or you two are stuck somewhere that requires problem solving skills or the ability to work together?  Will all those traits on your list hold up in your time of need?  Those are the ones that should pass any test and inspire you to work it out for the long haul.

With all our modern conveniences I think it is harder to maintain a relationship than ever before.  With the click of a button or slide on your smart phone you are exposed to a plethora of other temptations and opportunities that are constantly trying to steal and divide your attention.  This can cause us to seek a new level of perfection that no one ever would measure up to – it’s absolutely unrealistic.  Oh, he’s short? Oh, she talks through the movie? Oh, he hates the TV show you obsessively watch? Oh, she’s obsessed with her pet?  Oh, he/she _____ ?  Seriously?  If these are your hangups maybe you aren’t ready to be in a relationship or even date.  Sometimes it is better to take time to be alone and get to know yourself.  There is a lot to be learned through self discovery that being with someone else cannot teach you.  Join a new club, start a new hobby, expand your horizons to the max.  I meet a lot of people who feel unfulfilled and “stuck” in their lives.  The most they accomplish in a week is another series on Netflix.  I love sitting and doing nothing too but it’s not enough.  There are a lot of organizations that need volunteers, especially ones that deal with children and the elderly.

I challenge you to start a new project before the start of the next season.  Let love fall into place when it is supposed to; not when it is forced.  Don’t hang onto a list, fear, doubt, or type – they won’t matter when the right person is looking you in the eye and you feel that bond where everything makes sense and you feel safe.  They do exist and you will find them.

Love yourself more because you deserve it!