How often do we hear someone make the statement: You’re not listening to me! Sometimes when that phrase is uttered we shut down and go into defensive mode because we know that we definitely heard them – whatever their original request was. We marked it down, etched it into our minds somewhere amidst the clutter of our every day memories and subtle subconscious reminders. A lot of us even save conversations in order to re-read and replay that conversation in our minds in an effort to hang on to that situation months or even years down the road. Yes, we heard you – but were we really listening to them?
I always define “hearing someone” with the passive, yeah okay, versus “listening” as, I may not understand but I will try. Sometimes whether we are parents, friends, lovers, family members, or even strangers, we do not stop to take the time to listen to what the other person is trying to tell us.
You may meet someone and they will communicate: I am not good enough for you. They may or may not say that verbally but their actions are giving you direct clues to that statement. They refuse to make time for you, they don’t include you in their life, they don’t respect your time, or all they are interested in is an empty and unfulfilling relationship. This isn’t solely surrounding a romantic relationship either. How many times has a friend put us through something similar or a parent? We often choose to ignore listening to them thinking if we love them enough that love will cure this person of their insecurities and pitfalls. This irrational behavior will cause us to be the celebrated hero in their lives. This thinking and behavior only wastes your time and energy. We are only promised today yet deal in the currency of yesterday and tomorrow. We assume that we have an infinite amount of resources in our arsenal ready and loaded to dish out as often as needed. All this reduces to is the depletion of who you are. We end up giving all of ourselves to a person or situation that should have never been touched in the first place.
Leave the super hero actions in the pages of comics and on your movie screens.
Take your power back and take notice of those who need someone to listen to them and also listen to yourself. You deserve the opportunity to find peace in your own life and have your feelings validated.