It may seem like jumping into dark water with no reference on how deep the water is or what creatures lurk below is dangerous and it’s safer to stay on your ledge clinging tightly to our assumed sense of security.
We know how to wrap our arms tightly and lock our fingers together so when we feel ourselves slip, we’re able to readjust ourselves. What we don’t see is the damage caused by clinging so tightly for so long. We don’t see the bruising, the blood stained clothes, or the fact that our hands have started shaking from numbness. We are quick with excuses and hope by readjusting ourselves again to what we’re holding on to will soften up and let us relax.
It takes a while to finally see that we have done so much damage to ourselves we barely have the strength to let go and jump.
The pain, exhaustion, shame, and delusions have pushed us to the edge and we are forced to let go kicking and screaming. Our broken safety net is gone and we now have to pick up the pieces of ourselves in hopes this time there are enough pieces left to put back together. We’ve lost so many that it’s getting harder to recognize ourselves in the mirror.
We find the strength to stand again and stare down at the darkness knowing jumping in will cause our bruises to hurt at first. That pain will remind us of our failures of the past and our reaction will be to jump back out but if we stay in long enough that water will help us heal and help us find our peace again.
If you are struggling to move forward in life I invite you to take a breath and think of all the possibilities life can offer by letting out destructive pasts go and open yourself to healing and forgiveness- not only to others but to yourself. Allow yourself peace of mind and allow yourself to love yourself wholeheartedly because you are always worth it.