The other day someone wished me a Happy Valentine’s Day and it made think about how warped this manufactured holiday has become.  I’m sure by now you’re seeing an increase in marketing efforts to sell red roses, chocolates, hearts, and other related red things to promote coupled love.  Selling a fantasy that clogs up restaurants with over inflated prices and other retailers trying to cash in on the 14th of February.    

This Valentine’s Day, spend time doing what makes you happy.  Most holidays are hyper focused on buying other people gifts or forcing yourself to make time for other people you’d rather not see. Let’s forget the red roses, teddy bears, boxes of chocolates, poorly planned Valentine’s Day menus or services, and treat yourself to something nice.  Whatever that something nice is, do that only for yourself.  I think a lot of the time we get so bogged down by other commitments that we don’t even put ourselves on the priority list.  We have to remember: our sanity is a priority.  Our self worth is a priority.  Our self confidence is a priority. It’s okay to be selfish.

I’ll say it again – It’s okay to be selfish!

With our ever evolving society that is built on likes, loves, and shares, please stop comparing yourself to the facade that is social media.  If you are single over Valentine’s Day, that is not a reflection of your self worth.  There is a lot of peace a person can achieve by being single and not in a relationship with someone who isn’t good for them or abuses them in any form. Sometimes there is a blessing in being single. I personally found that being single for a long time period (and staying single) has helped me fall back in love with myself. Sometimes we forget who we are when another person is introduced into our life. An issue that I struggle with is when in a relationship I do too much for the other person. Not everyone appreciates that selflessness and will walk all over you if you let them. I found staying single and focusing on me, myself, and my interests helped me gain that perspective and seeing my mistakes in past relationships. It’s tough to look at yourself honestly but in doing so it helps create a more stable foundation for both you and your partner.

We all have baggage – every single one of us. Some wear it like a badge of honor and some of us pack it away so neatly and tightly that we never open it back up to find the healing we truly need. Let this be the moment you start to untangle the mess and find all the love and respect waiting for you within yourself.

  If you are in a relationship but feel alone, unloved, or worse – please reach out for help.  It’s not productive to simply say, dump that loser. I generally hate whenever anyone says something so flat and dismissive. There is a lot involved in your relationship with someone else. There is also a lot involved in your relationship with yourself. It’s never easy to just drop everything and move on, let alone run from danger.

If you need help or someone you know needs help, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233  for any domestic violence you are experiencing. If you or someone you know is feeling suicidal, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255.

Always remember: You are needed. You are loved. You are worthy.