Ain’t Talkin’ Bout Love

I’m one of the many who’s been adding more Van Halen tracks to their playlist lately.

With all the horrid things that have happen this year (and those hits keep coming), I wanted to take a moment to focus on some of the positives that have made their way down the 2020 conga line of doom. I want to begin by saying my heart goes out to all of those we have lost to COVID-19. It’s a tragedy that was completely avoidable. I wear a mask, clean it often, and encourage others to take the virus seriously so we avoid losing anymore loved ones.

Wear a mask and save a life!

Now onto the festivities!

This is probably my favorite time of the year. I love the eclipse to Halloween because it means we are one step closer to Thanksgiving and Christmas. It’s the last quarter of the year but it always gives me the most hope and fulfillment. A lot of my favorite hobbies coincide with this time of year, plus it’s almost my birthday season! ::party:: I know you’re wondering where in my dark heart I found positives in the dumpster fire that is 2020? To be honest with you, amidst all of the upheaval, I realized everything was laid out before me. I thought it was important to round everything up and share it with others in hopes that if you are struggling, you will find hope and excitement too!

Like so many of you, I was laid off this year. It was annoying and devastating all in the same breath. In losing my job it also meant losing access to good healthcare and let’s be honest – pandemic or not, good healthcare is very hard to come by! Once I got through the frustration that finding another decent job is damn near impossible at this point, I got quiet. I became still. I realized that the job I was holding onto was not serving my potential. Passed over twice for a promotion even after working my tail off, staying there would have been a dead end. Not only a dead end in a career but a dead end to the possibilities of where I can take things in my life. Let’s be honest, closed doors are more than a rejection. They are telling us this is not meant for us and we need to reinvent to reveal who we are really meant to become.

With this setback, it helped me realize that if I stayed where I was I wouldn’t have done more or been more. I made the tough decision to go back to school. To some, this is an easy choice because they love being professional students. I hated it and frankly, I still do. I prefer to work. I prefer to learn in unconventional environments. I think on my feet quickly and already know my next 50 moves. There isn’t a box you can put me in. The traditional American education system has always been limiting to me and I couldn’t justify plunking even more money into it but here we are. Plunking more money with the end result in a few years my MBA. What will I do with it? It will serve me personally as well as professionally and that’s what matters most. Pandemic or not, an education is important. If you are considering the same move, I encourage you to do it at any point in your life. Retired and want a career change? Go for it! Spent years of your life devoted to your partner and children and you finally have time for yourself in life? Go for it! Spent years of your life doing something else? Go for it. It’s never a bad time to start over again.

Since working odd jobs through the pandemic just to pay the bills, this has allowed for me to be home more. This is probably the most time I’ve physically been in my house since the time my son was born many moons ago. I’m usually working A LOT. I love to work. It gives me a thrilling satisfaction. If you love to work too, high 5! If I didn’t have my son, I would have become an attorney that easily works 70 hours a week. Being home has been an interesting transition for me. I’m getting a lot done that I finally have time for and more importantly, I’m spending more time with my son. With almost everything going virtual, we have had to turn into tech wizards as well as educators to our children. It can be frustrating because kids are learning concepts that seem to be overly complicated ways or learning say simple algebra. Just teach them the equations then plug in variables as necessary. I often have to ask my son the question: “How did your teacher teach this?” That goes for every subject too. At the end of what can seem like a hard day is time spent together. I cherish even these tough moments together because we are getting through it together. He isn’t going to remember the reason why I’m home with him more, he is going to remember that I was there when he needed me most and that is a memory I will always cherish.

The last stop on this entry express is an important one. With everything else going on in 2020, an incredible bright spot for me is the fact that I reconciled with someone who means the world to me. Often people talk about love, blog about it, create content about it. It’s a multi-billion dollar industry that’s eclipsed with candy, cards, and lingerie. It’s such a serious topic that laws have to be created to protect it. That’s why when you find love, true love, it’s important to not only cherish it but respect the form it comes to you in. We have to accept the person for who they are with all of their highs and every inch of their lows. We have to understand that it won’t always be easy but even in those tough moments, you know they are worth every moment of hard work that helps to smooth out the edges. Forgiveness has to be conjugated within your love language. You may find that love at 16, 26, 36, 46, or beyond but it does come. It may come to you in a storm of emotion. You may not be ready for it or you may be waiting patiently for the moment where I love you is a badge of honor that is mended on your soul. It may also come to you on a warm sunny day, just like in the movies. There are a lot of couples who say they met their partner on a random Tuesday just out running errands. Even those couples will have their own moments of trials that test each other individually or together. That’s just how life twists and turns.

To have security in a relationship, to know that the love you give is appreciated and protected is one of the most rewarding feelings life can afford you. You know that it will see you though the shadow valleys, through every hardship that will come your way. You know that you have someone that sees your true potential and will always support you and share in the winnings of each mountain peak. That’s the real, soul exchange of love that card manufactures can’t print on paper. It’s something you share between you – a bond that can’t be broken. Even if it seems broken for a moment, you find your way back to each other more beautiful than when you left. That’s what love is to me. This relationship is more than just having someone in my life. It’s something I’ve prayed for, prayed about, and prayed on. It’s something and someone that I protect and want to last not only in this lifetime but the next. A true infinity.

I hope to inspire you to find hope in 2020. I hope that if you are struggling right now in any aspect of your life you know that there is always something out there to support you. There are always people willing to help. We have to find the strength to ask. Let’s work to make this last quarter of the year filled with memories of happiness, luck, and love. Don’t give in to the negative. We’ve had enough of that for more than one lifetime.

Open your heart, open your mind, and open your life to new possibilities!

2 thoughts on “Ain’t Talkin’ Bout Love

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