Wellness Wednesday – The Weight Of An Ending



There is always the mantra of picking ourselves up after the dust has settled, in an effort to coax us into getting over difficulties easier.  What if the dust never really settles, as you are constantly reminded of the past, therefore you can never really let go?  Some cultures believe that we never really leave things behind, they are always a part of us – even the Bible reminds us of that as well in various contexts.  We may be forgiven of the sin, but still carry the weight and memory of it – lest temptation reigns supreme and we are back down that hole.  But what about when we have to say, “It’s finally time to move on.”  Where does that now lead us to move on to?  Another person?  Another town?  Another memory?  A lot of us may move on, but we may move on to the same issues packaged in a different environment or person.

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Target on Your Back

And then I saw it crawling across the floor.  Its legs were slow but it’s spirits were high.  Dangling in its view was the end, its peace, survival and more importantly, the success in its finale.

Out of morbid curiosity, you stood back watching while it gained the courage to move after your mere presence shocked it into an insecure coma.  It has never witnessed something as strange as you are. Your being and intellect almost overpower this weak creature back into its shell of comfort.  It is more used to the screams, cries and yells of others – If not the rampant abuse it had to suffer just to get by.  It had come to love and accept that abuse as part of its life path.  It’s karma, resolution, life lesson passed on through its generations.

We always create, suffer and habitat our own prisons in our minds. 

You want to walk away but are almost mesmerized by the will this weak creature has displayed making their way across the floor.  Steady now, it’s almost there.  You can tell its mind is racing a million miles per second.  The self doubt it is drowning in is now spilled completely across the floor.

It’s time. 

Do you stop it in its tracks, walk away or help it along?  Your first instinct is to stop it and put it where you think it belongs because of its inherent patterns.  You can’t imagine helping because how would you know the right way to even begin?  In the end you feel it is best to walk away, unscathed.  Spared by the trauma the creature would bring to your life, or you to it.  You are too strong for something so weak, and it too weak for something so strong.

A small smile forms on your lips knowing that true power, courage, and survival comes through situations like this.  Knowing when to bend and when to walk away.

It’s not your time, not theirs either, for this was not meant to be.

And Just Like That – It’s Over

Here we are at Friday evening and my nail polish is chipped on both my hands and feet.  The way my nails look is a visual representation of how I feel.  This week has been both stressful and tiring, but I am very thankful it is over.  This week ending marks the end of another school year and an end (almost) of one of the classes I am taking.  It is a time to reflect this weekend on my goals, accomplishments and what I have planned for myself next.  The intense challenges I have faced over the last 10 months have made me to take a step back and realize that those small moments in life are worth cherishing because there will always be someone ready to douse your flame.  Around every damn corner it seems too!

While some relationships have withered, some were cultivated in such amazing ways.  The pride you feel watching loved ones reach their goals is a beautiful thing to witness and experience.  When I say loved ones, for me, it goes beyond just immediate family members.  When I consider someone a friend, they are “loved ones” to me.  It may not be romantic love, but platonic, adoration, appreciation, and respect all the same.  I want those around me to ascend to their next level in wherever their passion lie.

This goes for you as well, the reader.  I hope if this finds you that you let go of whatever is weighing you down.  Whatever you feel tied to these days.  It could be anything, any issue clouding your mind with cobwebs of denial, disaster and depression.  Remember that those small hours when the light is just right and they are smiling and laughing because it might be a “girls party,” those are the times to hold tight to when the darkness comes calling through its many vices.  Sometimes we have to let our guards down and have that tea party, play pretend, color inside and outside of the lines.  Sometimes it is all we have and sometimes it is more than enough.

Have a great weekend!