I heard this on the radio the other day and had to dig through the internet to find the video.  It’s a cute and fun song, but the video is great as well.  Love your size no matter what!  ❤

 

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Outfit of the Day?

I’ve been asked quite a few times as to why I don’t routinely post any OOTD’s (Outfit of the day).  The main reason is, it’s unnecessary.  I want to avoid alienating any woman or make someone feel like they aren’t en vogue because they chose to go in a different direction than I did on that particular day.   Fashion is art and incredibly subjective.  It changes constantly and colors flatter some and wash out others.  Fashion should empower you no matter  what.  If you put on that dress and can walk into a room full of strangers and feel like a Goddess, work the shit out of it!  Own it.  Make it yours, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

My only suggestion is there is a time and place for everything.  The good Lord doesn’t need to see your best club wear, and neither does your employer or Gram-Gram.  Have some fun, take a few chances and remember to be yourself.  That’s the best fashion advice anyone can give you.

 

“He’s Not My Type!”

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I think it is safe to say that at one point or another we have said this phrase – whether it’s he isn’t, or she isn’t.  From when we are young we have this fantasy of adult hood and who is supposed to play each part to perfection.  As we grow up and grow older we are on what feels like a wild ride trying to cast the very perfect person for their roles.  We receive packages that seem to be together then sigh with great disappointment that the person just isn’t our type.  I understand that there has to be an attraction at some point when it comes to parring off but let’s be a bit more realistic – is that other person too much car for you?  Are you too much car for them?

Continue reading ““He’s Not My Type!””

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What really is the best way to deal with disappointment?  Over eating?  Over drinking? Obsessing on Facebook?  I’m not really sure the answer to this myself because depending on the situation and how grave the said disappointment, you may want to do all that I’ve already mentioned – if not more, right?

My recent excursion down the trail of disappointment of course deals with my love life.  I called a good friend of mine earlier to vent a bit about the past month and to talk shop about moving forward and realistic expectations for the coming month.  I may be down for a bit but I refuse to stay down.  Giving others power over you is dangerous and worthless.  This past month I have dealt with a lot of issues from past relationships and potential new ones that I have been trying to change within myself as well.  I made a deal with myself a year ago to change my behavior and some of my ways and try to date new and different kinds of people because what I was doing before wasn’t working.   I ended up alone more often than I cared to be.  I decided to open myself up to new kinds of men; men who before I would never consider dating because I would consider them too heavy a risk.  Yes, I look at dating in the form of accounting – whether he is an asset or a liability.  It’s just who I am.  In the beginning of the relationship things went okay.  I let go of some things and proceeded with caution.  You only live once, may as well take a risk and find out.

Time went by and I ended up in a new relationship.  Things were okay for a while until reality set in and my previous checks & balances that would have told me to not bother with this guy were coming up like red flags in a bad soccer match.   My gut/intuition/whatever you want to call it kept telling me to end things and move on, no matter how hard it may be.  How can you go one minute wondering if this is the kind of compromise they talk about when moving forward to getting married?  I also contemplated that was it my own fears holding me back from moving forward too?  Sadly, those red flags were turning quite serious and I knew it was time to go.

Fast forward to dating others more recently, still trying to be optimistic, hoping that if I try something different, maybe that will lead me to someone I am able to feel safe with.  Nothing has stuck yet and the old temptations to previous encounters swing in and out as if being offered a warm bowl of ice cream.  It’s tempting but easy to resist.  I wouldn’t say I was lowering my standards.  It was more not being as picky as I can be.  My philosophy is to wait for that right one, not waste years of my life tied to the wrong one.  What I realized after chatting with my friend earlier is that I am okay being single.  My life is filled with a lot of great people and adventures that maybe, right now this is all I need.

It’s important not to be envious of others.  What some have, they may have had to sacrifice everything for a moment of fleeting happiness.  I do believe that a strong marriage is more important than just being someone’s wife.  I also believe  that a good marriage can exist, even in our modern time.  I just know that it’s not my time yet.  If or when that time comes I will be ready, but I am content to wait.  I know me of 5 years ago would have thought the me now is crazy for even thinking that but wisdom comes with age.  There are more important things in life than the selfishness of others in bad relationships, or pride for that matter.

As far as I know, for me, if I don’t feel that he is the right fit, I will politely say,  “no thank you,” and patiently wait my turn.  I deserve that.

Dating is a Dying Art

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When was the last time you went on a solid date where you felt there was a connection, you actually wanted to see the person again, and you felt it could turn into a relationship?  When was the last time you went on a date and projected all your thoughts and possibly derailed things after the appetizer?  I know we are all guilty of having the foot-in-mouth instead of the spinach dip as the starter course.   Or we are downing too many alcoholic beverages before we even learn their last name then complain that things bombed to anyone who will listen.  Why are we torturing ourselves?  I used to be that single lady who ordered one too many “foot-in-mouth” until I had a moment of clarity and changed my attitude.  Looking back, I realized why I was attracting the wrong man and why things never developed due to how ridiculous I was being.  I know that by changing a few key things, you too can find a healthy relationship that will give you a sense of pride and boost of self-confidence.

As a plus-sized lady, I fell into the thinking that I may never find the unicorn known as a “good man.”   What if I’m not pretty enough or thin enough like some of my counterparts who, in my mind, fit more into what should be and not what is.  I honestly have to tell you that that mentality is absolute bullshit.  Men are men and they are not as discerning as women make them out to be.  If a man finds you attractive, he finds you attractive.  Yes, there are men who prefer a thinner woman, but sometimes they tend to be very insecure.   It’s mostly due to them being worried about what their friends will think – not their own happiness.  I’m not the thinnest hen in the henhouse but I have to say that I turn more heads than my slimmer counter parts.  It took years for this to finally sink in but it is possible and it gave me a new sense of self-confidence.  I was ready to be loved because I learned to love myself.

I empower you all to smile, be open and open-minded and confident.  Learn to listen as well as communicate your desires and ambitions.  Finding the right partner starts with finding yourself and loving yourself.  Try not to get caught up in broken text message, email conversations, drinking too much during the dating period, being too abrasive or rushing to the future before it even gets here.  Relax, have fun and let love find you because it will when the time is right.